Ah March 17th, the excuse to imbibe emerald-hued intoxicants that we’ve been waiting for all year. When you toast a Saint named Patrick this year, why don’t you really go green by making that beer organic. Why bother when Natty-Lite already gets your room spinning faster than a dradle on a carousel? Because organic beer is giving both microbrew aficionados and American buzz-chasers a reason to raise their glasses and their expectations.

A beer’s organic label means that the government has certified that 95% of its ingredients were grown without the use of harmful chemicals, pesticides, or genetically engineered organisms. The fewer the chemicals, the better tasting the brew, and the less green your face will turn the morning after. That was my theory anyway, and like any good scientist, I ran an experiment to test it.

I purchased sixers of four different brands of ‘certified organic’ beer and then invited over three experts – my father and two older brothers – for an old fashioned taste test. My dad has a PhD in physics and, according to my dearly-departed grandmother, always fooled around with chemistry sets as a kid; so it will come as no surprise that he’s been brewing his own beer since I was running around in diapers. In turn, he instilled his fermented beverage appreciation in all three of his sons. A better group of experts could not be found.

The contenders:
-Stone Mill Pale Ale
-Shoals Pale Ale
-Wolavers India Pale Ale

I chose IPA's because they usually have a very strong taste so even a novice like me can distinguish the difference between them. I threw in a pilsner from Butte Creek as kind of ‘control’ (and because the name made me chuckle), but it wasn’t an official contender.

The six packs set me back about $12-$13 a piece, which probably sounds like a lot, but is consistent with the prices in Brooklyn, where your average crappy pack of Rolling Rock retails between $9-$11.

The results:

Let's dispense with Butte Creek first as it wasn’t truly in contention. "Yep, it tastes like a pilsner," was how my father’s reacted. It didn't knock any of our socks off, but on the plus-side it didn’t have a lingering after-taste. It went down clean. The same was also true of all three IPAs, which is kind of astounding considering that they’re usually very "Hoppy" with a bitter after-taste. So even if you’re not a fan of the traditional IPA, you might want to still give its organic cousin a try.

Hands down, all of us chose Shaols Pale Ale as the best Organic Brew. My dad held his glass up to the light and gave its color the thumbs up. "That's how an IPA should look," he approved. Shaols’ taste was also head and shoulders above the other two; it had a strong hoppy savor that didn't linger. Very powerful, but not bitter in the least. It also had the lamest packaging, confirming the old adage that, "you can’t judge an album by its cover art". The other two Pale Ales were more closely matched, with Wolavers edging out Stone Mill by a nose.

We planned on examining the brews’ “hangover effects” next, but a bottle of scotch was broken out and the study’s parameters went flying out the window. I had to catch a 7AM flight to Austin, TX to cover the itsyournature.org’s launch party, so I bid good night to my family, packed my clothes, and was fast asleep by 12:30AM.

Despite having forgotten to drink water before bed, my head didn’t hurt at all the next morning when I woke at 5AM. Even better, I wasn’t running to the bathroom every thirty minutes. (I didn’t go once during my entire three-and-a-half-hour flight!) My theory was proven correct: drink real ‘green’ beer and your brain and stomach will love you for it!
- The Green Hornet